Alright! You got a table, wether you planned ahead making a reservation, or walked in and the tables gods were with you, you are here, and that's all that matters! You are here to eat and drink and we, the servers, are here to make that happen.
The host seats you according to how the books will work for the evening. Sometimes it seems odd that they sit you right next to another 2 top in an empty dining room, but going back to the previous chapters, they got you in and are making it work for you as well as the restaurant, so just go with it. If you are a 2 top and ask to be seated "in that booth over there" which is for a table for 4 you will most likely be denied, those are for parties of 4, and you are not that. If you really dislike the table offered to you, let the host know asap, as they might be able to rearrange and get you something better. But please don't ask to move halfway through your first course, as then it becomes difficult not only for the host but for the server and the kitchen as well. Once you've ordered food and it's at your table, that's the table you have chosen, be happy that you even have a table.
Your server is predetermined based on the books. If you love a certain server, you can request to be seated in their section, but things like that cannot always be easily granted, so put a little note in your reservation asking for your favorite server, that way the host might actually arrange it before the evening is under way. Your server is a unique individual and has his or her own routine when it comes to handling their section. This routine makes the flow of the night easy for everyone, it paces the kitchen, it paces the server, it paces the bar, so that no part of the restaurant is totally overwhelmed. Of course, it's not always smooth, but the little routines that each server has, helps them organize the chaos.
Wether you are a large party or a small party, please pay attention to your server when they are at the table. Blatantly ignoring and talking over us is just rude, especially when you've asked us a question. We are here as the middle man between you and the bar, and you and the kitchen. We are the people who ring in what you want, even if it's a ridiculous request, we are the ones who smooth out those requests with the bartender, and the chef, so be nice to us, we are working for you to make sure your experience is the best it can be.
So let's get started. Can I get you a drink?
Servers, if they have been in the industry for a while, can answer questions, and suggest things to you with ease. But not all questions have an easy answer. The one question I hate is "what's your favorite______ (drink)"? To which I always respond, well, what do YOU like to drink? Yes of course I have my favorites, but I like gin, and you might not, I don't like mezcal, and it might be your favorite liquor, so my favorite drink is probably not going to be your favorite drink. Instead, tell me what you like to drink. If you like rye, I can guide you in the direction of those types of drinks. Using key words is also very helpful, on the sweeter side, on the drier side, tart, or specific booze that you like. This also applies to wine. Wine is very subjective. When you ask me for a dry white, I am going to give you what I think it the driest option we have on the list. You can always ask for a taste if you don't believe us and our tasting notes, that way you can be happy with your choice. Please don't order a glass of wine or cocktail, drink half the glass and decide it's not good, tell us within in the first sip or 2, that way we know you didn't like it and can get you something better... you don't suffer and we don't think you just want free booze.
If your drinks are taking a while it usually means the bar is slammed, not that your server is making you suffer by holding back you order. Bartenders have a tough job... they have to make drinks for the floor as well as the bar, and are also giving great customer service to all of their bar sitters who are also eating dinner, and talking their ear off all at the same time. They have to balance it all with grace while making 6 ingredient cocktails for a party of 13 who just ordered 10 different drinks, all within a very short amount of time. Yeh, you try and do that... It's a skill, and a patience tester, so if you plop on a barstool, and the bartender doesn't immediately give you a food/wine/cocktail list, don't get angry, but sit back and watch the magic happen, they will in fact get you a menu as soon as they possibly can fit it in to their list of things to do. It's hard as an outsider to wait 3 minutes at a bar before getting a menu, but just know, they aren't ignoring you, they just have so much to do they can't get to you. So be nice, understanding, and be in awe of the bartender and their skills.
Can we get you some food started?
"We're not ready to order"... is the worst thing a server wants to hear. You have now been sitting at the table for 20 minutes, have had ample time to look through the menu, ask me questions, and still, you are not sure what to get. I know you are here to eat, I am just here to make sure that happens in the allotted table time. Well, maybe just appetizers then? "what's your favorite?", there it is again... that question I hate. Working in the restaurants in San Francisco, this is a loaded question, I don't know if you are vegan, or vegetarian, or gluten intolerant, or have a dairy allergy or have high cholesterol (yes, someone shared that with me after I told him my "favorite"), so what I like, you might not like. Again I do have my favorites, but if you have a specific need, let me know before I go ahead with my spheal. "I can't eat gluten, can you guide me in the right direction?", amazing and very helpful. "I am a vegetarian who doesn't eat dairy", great I can actually help you with ease to finding things that will suite your specifications. But asking my favorite... this means I am going to suggest the chicken livers because they are in fact AMAZING, to which you cringe because you hate livers... don't ask me what I like.
Wow, ok, I managed to get first course ordered after 30min. Great, now I have to get a second course order in ASAP for the kitchen's sake. In order for the kitchen not to get overwhelmed it is the goal of a server to get all the courses in at once so that the kitchen can plan ahead and start all dishes that take a while to cook. This allows them to pace their stations so they don't get overwhelmed with 20 dishes all coming in at once. It's pretty much the same at every sit down more fine dining restaurant. Coursed tickets help everyone along. The server is happy as it's part of their "routine", and the kitchen is happy because it helps their flow. So if you have given me your first course but not your second, I am going to get that from you as soon as I possibly can, and it's not to rush you along, it's only to help the kitchen. I will pace your meal so you have ample time to eat your first course, with a break in between your next. Don't think that just because I take your order that it will come out of the kitchen in 2 minutes, it will be held back until you are ready.
Let's talk about the kitchen... this is a huge part of your experience. The kitchen guys pump out some amazing food usually from very small kitchens, and they do it with grace and ease. They are always in high gear, grilling, frying, searing, roasting. They have to prep each little component to EVERYTHING you eat. I mean, someone had to make that stock from scratch and turn it into an amazing sauce, that just graces your dish completing that entree. It probably took 3 days to make, and it takes you 20 min to scarf it down. We don't really think of all the people involved in each dish, but it is a lot of work, which is why you go out to eat it instead of making it at home. If you do in fact have an allergy we will do our best to make a dish to your needs. But when a guest asks to COMPLETELY change a dishes components, the chef is most likely going to say no, they will usually say "tell them to order something else". You are taking apart a dish that he has composed as a whole. To swap out one vegetable for another is taking these matched components, and making it your own dish. It's hard for a chef to see that happen. There is a reason those elements are on the dish, wether you understand it or not, the chef does. Cook at home if you want your chicken with green beans and mashed potatoes, we don't make that here.
We do want guests to be happy with their food, so please tell the server if something is wrong. If it's too salty, spicy, not what you expected. If you aren't happy with your decision, after all that we've been through, we will get you something else. Don't lie to us say everything is "fine" and then go on Yelp and say how horrible the food was. We can fix it for you in the moment, honestly, if your fish is overcooked, let us try again, if your burger is undercooked, let us bring it up. We are willing to make adjustments, and help you have a great experience, but please tell us. We can't help you if you don't tell us. A good server will check in with you once you've gotten your meal, and when they ask how everything is and you say "great", "delicious" "amazing" we are assuming you are telling us the truth. Don't take a bad experience with you if you haven't made an effort to fix it.
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