NOTABLE QUOTES

As a server you are often asked some pretty interesting questions, and some stick with you throughout your career in the business. Living and working in San Francisco's restaurant scene, I bet there are more unusual requests here than in other towns, but you get the idea. That show Portlandia wasn't far off when the guests ask questions about the name of the chicken. Guests can be a bit too forthcoming at times, needy, pushy, demanding, and difficult. Here are some memorable notable quotes:

-"Is the bacon humanely raised? I am thinking I might add it to my burger."
evidently they don't care about the cow being humanely raised, but the bacon, that's super
important.

-"Is the pasta gluten free"
this is just pasta 101 guys

-"I have a dairy allergy, can I do __ without dairy?"..."can I get some butter for my bread please?"
OK so I just went through the whole menu so as you don't eat dairy in any of the dishes, and you want what for your bread? Butter is in fact a dairy product.

-"I have an onion allergy, what can I eat?"
pretty much can't have anything on the menu as everything is started with onions.

-"I would like this cocktail, but can you have the bartender make it with less alcohol? I don't really drink."
right, so make an alcoholic drink not so alcoholic, we'll get right on that.

-"We would like some oysters, I assume they are farmed?"
do you want farmed oysters or not, I can't tell?

-"I would like my burger cooked medium plus"
what does that mean to you? the kitchen knows 4 temps, this one is not one of them.

-"Do you have gluten free bread?"
um... nope.

-"If I order the veggie burger can I add bacon?"
yes, yes you can, kind of defeats the purpose of eating a veggie burger but...

-"Can I just get a caesar salad with a chicken breast?"
well, we don't have any of what you asked for on the menu, so nope... we don't just have caesar dressing hiding "just in case" someone orders it.

-"I don't have a reservation but I am a friend of the owner's."
yeh, it's Friday night in the middle of the rush, we have no room for walk ins, and everyone is a "friend of the owner" tonight. Nice try, there's still no room.

-"I am a vegetarian trying to get pregnant"
...and how do you suppose I am going to be able to help you with that?

-"can I get the mushroom pasta without the mushrooms but can you add some brussels sprouts? I just don't like mushrooms."
well the mushrooms are actually a huge part of that dish, it's what makes the dish a mushroom pasta,
otherwise we'd sell it as a brussels sprout pasta (yeh that sounds appetizing). Or how about you don't
order that dish, find something else.

-"Can I get the burger without a bun... can we get some bread for the table?"
Have never really understood this one.

-" I am a vegetarian, what can I eat on the menu?"
I have a hard time believing that if you've actually read through the menu, that you couldn't figure out
what is vegetarian and what is not. The menu states if there is meat or fish in the dish exactly for this
reason, so you know what you can and cannot eat. But of course I will rattle off the obvious dishes to you.

-"I am vegan who doesn't eat gluten... what can I eat?"
This is an entirely different challenge, basically you will get some type of veggies for your first course,
and hopefully some different types of veggies for your entree as well. Forget about dessert. Unless you
are eating at a vegan friendly place, this is a difficult one to accommodate.

- "What is your favorite dish on the menu?"
I have mentioned this before, please don't ask this... I like what I like, you like what you like, and it
might not be the same thing. Choose what sounds good to you.

-"I will have a glass of the house red"
What does this even mean? We don't live in a town that offers 1 glass of red wine. Please look at the
menu and choose from one of the 10 glasses of red we offer

-"Is your orange juice fresh squeezed?"
Yes, We use a company that squeezes the oranges fresh, ie it's not pasteurized, it's fresh, but no we do
not squeeze it in house. Not sure why this turns people off a $3 glass of OJ.

-"Can the bartender make me something special? I like my drinks sweet and spicy and vodka based."
In the middle of a busy dinner service, these are the bartender's favorite ticket, they are slammed with
15 drink tickets a full bar... and in comes a special request ticket time to get creative!


The notable quotes will continue as long as restaurants are open!! As the years pass, food trends change and so do people's requests. It's amazing how quickly I formulate my responses without even thinking nowadays!